Sunday, January 18, 2009

You Want Vampires, I'll Give You Vampires!

I don't get it.

I don't understand all the Twilight Hype. I get the whole sexy vampire thing. I read the Anne Rice books.

But here's the thing...Robert Pattinson looks emaciated and nasty. He is not sexy! He's not even dirtysexy. He's not even an uglygoodlooking (UGL)! When he cut his hair and everyone was in a huge kerfuffle about it, I was all, "Who gives a flying fuck?" Actually, if anyone can do a flying fuck, can you forward a pic so I know what it is, k thnx.

How, and this is a big one, how can he possibly be out in daylight?

Can anyone explain it to me, or will I have to read the books? And when I say 'explain it to me,' I mean explain it to me in 5 sentences or less.

7 comments:

  1. I loved the books, I moderately enjoyed the movie. I will see the others just b/c of my love for the books.

    He can be in the sun b/c that's how the author made her version of vampires. In direct sunlight they glisten (not like that cheesy shit in the movie) and look like they're covered in diamonds.

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  2. I wouldn't throw him out of bed! Flying fuck sounds kinky.

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  3. Finally.
    I always looked at Pattinson and thought, "Meh."
    Then the hullaballoo over his hair. You'd think he was Jennifer-Freakin'-Anniston!

    And for the record: Vampires do NOT got out in daylight.

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  4. Chris: I may try reading the books. A milliion years ago, I started writing a story about a vampire who could linger in daylight and scrapped it b/c I thought no one would ever go for it. DAMNNNNNN!

    Mitz: Well, no, throwing someone out of bed is just rude, isn't it? I would give him a solid shove so he landed with a thud on the floor.

    Bob: Solidarity Sister!

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  5. Shirley my love, I have to disagree with you on this one. Robert's performance in the film was sexually hypnotic. I can understand the fascination with the Twilight series. It taps into every person's desire to have someone who's not only their true love, but also their protector. XXOO

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  6. I guess I need to either see this movie or read the books. I don't understand the fascination with vampires, period.

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  7. Twilight is no Vampire Chronicles. LONG LIVE ANNE RICE, QUEEN OF THE GAYISH VAMPIRES!!!

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you better make this good.

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