I may have a problem.
I go back and forth on this, but I guess if you're worried enough to question it, it's probably an issue.
The thing is, I used to drink WAY more than I do now. About five years ago, I used to have at least 3 Vodka and Cran's a night. Whether I went out or not. I weighed about 155 lbs and I barely ate. The first time I had a glimmer of an issue came one innocent day, during a brutal day at work, when all I could think about was having a drink. When my work day ended, I went to a lounge in the sky and had myself 2 sassy Cosmo's. After that, I was able to proceed with the rest of my day.
There used to be time when drinking a glass of wine in the middle of the week meant a special occasion. Outside of that, getting looped on booze happened on the weekends, and usually only on one night. The rest of the weekend was tea and soda.
In the last several months, my alcohol intake has been questioned. My Poodle, doctors, insurance company and some bloggers have expressed some kind of concern over my boozey beverages. I maintain that I am in complete control. I never drink during the day and I never feel like "I need a drink!"
But when people, even those who you've never met, say that they're worried, maybe it's time to take a wee pause.
Since that day, all those years ago, I have never YEARNED for a drink. I can go days without even thinking about having a cocktail. Sometimes, Poodle and I have some wine with dinner, but a bottle of wine between two people usually equalls about 2 1/2 glasses each.
The problem? I take Wellbutrin, Lorazepam and Celexa. Alcohol affects these drugs, maybe even to the point of reversing their effects. It's hard to say.
Am I just a faggot enjoying a glass a vino, or a sad soul needing to self medicate? I don't know.
If I was someone else and someone asked me if Kevin had a problem, I might say that it's worthwile to keep an eye on me.
I can go days at a time without a thought about having a drink. The problem is, sometimes when I start, I just keep on keepin' on. It's not that I feel that I NEED to keep drinking; I just want to.
If I was asked to do a 12 Step Program, there is no one that I've wronged. I've never hurt anyone; I've never abused a relationship.
I don't know what any of this means. It may mean nothing. It may mean that being on medication, some might consider that I'm "abusing" alcohol. Maybe I am. I don't think so, but...