Tuesday, May 19, 2009

AI8 ~ Yup, That Oughta Do It

Well, leave it to Idol to give me a kick in the blogging pants.

How can I describe tonight's show? It was a car crash. A crime scene. A back alley drug deal. It was sin on a stick. Not dull, just dreary.

I just didn't get that "in-it-to-win-it" vibe from the guys. Tonight's episode was another giant nail in the coffin that is American Idol.

Simon Fuller chose some great songs, but they just looked awkward on the boys, like Kris in a skirt and Adam without makeup.

Truly the star -- and by star, I mean BEAST-- of the evening had to have been the "coronation" song No Boundaries, written by Judge Kara and Cathy Dennis (that's a shame!). I think I get now why I never heard of Kara before this season of Idol.

Attention Kara DioGuardi: Not for nothin', but this is supposedly what you do.

Kris and Adam turned out very different versions --what Kara would call "artistry"-- but they were just not able to make credible out of crap. Even she said to Kris, "I won't judge you on that song..." Uh, DOYATHINK?

Just like so many of the Idol songs before it, it is total cheeseball, steeped in schmaltz, faux inspiration and total, utter shizz. I mean, Do I Make You Proud; Inside Your Heaven; I Believe...gag. I am going to go ahead and say that it's the worst Idol song that ever written, including all future (save us!) winner's songs.

She probably had it written into her contract that she have something to do with the winner's song, but near as I can tell, she's going to be owing peeps some money. I know I'd sue.

In fact, I may sue their asses. I was so distraught by the song, while stumbling the Interwebs, I came across this image:

It's Clay Fucking Aiken during season two. What the---? This is a double whammy for a pain and suffering lawsuit as far as I'm concerned.

I can't bear to hear that rotting song again, so no matter who wins tomorrow, I hope they boycott the song. Sweet mother, I'd rather I'm Here For The Music be the winner song than this shite. There may be no boundaries for Kara, but I think I just found one of mine.


  1. amen... good god! These songs- (every year) SUCK ASS. DIRTY ASS.

    and this year's was unusually awful. Why do they think we are gnna just LOVE a song we have never heard before- by two people who have never performed it before? AS A FINALE.

    In the voices of Seth and Amy- REALLY? REALLY???!

  2. So, what did you REALLY think of 'No Boundaries'?


you better make this good.


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