Just Like A Dream

I've always felt lucky that I remember my dreams. Most people don't and that's just too bad. I truly believe in dreamscapes and subconscious realities. I also believe that sometimes dreams don't mean squat.

I very very rarely dream about people that I actually know. When I do, they make a cameo and then they're gone. I've had a handful of dreams where someone I know is the "lead character." In a bizarre coincidence, those select people have had unfortunate things happen to them. Nothing extreme...nobody's liver exploded or anything. Just things like, lost pets, minor injuries...bad luck stuff.

No, I have been blessed with being able to cast celebrities, from A-List to D-List, in my cranial movie studio. I still remember a dream I had when I was 8 years old and Liz Taylor and I rode the bus together. Eight. Liz Taylor. The Gay was built right in.

Obviously I've had dreams about the Queen of the Universe, Madonna. Several. The last one was during the promo tours for Hard Candy. I dreamed that I was trying to get into Roseland and when she walked throught he crowd to go inside (stage door? No.) I called out to her and told her I knew J*O*E*. She came up to me, slapped me and then invited me backstage.

We're total besties. In all my dreams of her, we are BFF. Suck it, Jesus!

Lately, I've been struggling with Insomnia (yes, with a capital "I") and I've noticed that when I take my prescribed sedative, I have some pretty vivid dreams. There are still famous people, but the scope has now gone past the D-List into the E-List. E for ewwwwww. Also, they're not whole stories. Or maybe they are, but I'm only able to recall snippets of them.


Take Thursday night. I dreamed that I was at a party and even though I couldn't see any faces, I knew it was a Hollywood party. Out of the shadowy mass of revelers and martinis, Katie Frickin' Holmes comes slinking into the foreground. She's wearing a white dress cut down to there and she's got sex in her eyes. Ew.

Just as she is a few feet from me, I say to her, "Take one more step and I'm going to punch you right in your face."

I know, right? Wait. Last night, I had another weird one.


Porn supertwink Brent Corrigan confessed his obsession for me. Ew. I'm sure he's lovely and whatnot, but he doesn't really do it for me.
Anyway, I know I said, no thanks, but he just kept professing his love for me. Then, to prove his love, he set fire to my neighbour's house.

So far, no homes in the neighbourhood have burned down.









Sidebar: TOTALLY Separated at Birth:

Super Twink Brent Corrigan and Disney Twink Zac Efron