Friday, July 31, 2009

Blike Incahcerated

I know that we're all about 99% done with Ms. Winehouse. Unless she comes out with something fucking phenomenal, I think it might be fair to say that she's not likely to collect very many "pink dollars."

While skulking around the blogsophere, I made one of my very regular stops at Misster Kitty's, who is quite gifted at poking fun at Ms. Winehouse with his cockamAMY posts. On this trip, Kitty posted a s000 very perfect Ms. Amy WineHORSE, that looked an awful like the real thing.

What struck me as funny was my word verification (GD, I hate those!), which I happened to get a screen grab of:


Get it!?

No? Just me then? Fine.

...But WHICH 34 Songs?!?

Bombs Away!! **

**just in case you haven't bookmarked the site, some more favourites....






Pictures of....


Happy, wholesome cheerleaders?


WRONG!




STONER BOMB!




Young couple in love?


WRONG!!



WANKER THROWDOWN BOMB!



Blushing bride?


WRONG!



STREAKER BOMBS!



Young girl and doll?


WRONG!



VINTAGE DOGGYFUCK BOMB!

In My Sites

Gary: Landlord Of The Flies ~or~ Stranger Than Eviction

You simply...must. In a sentence, this blog is dedicated to a young man's ongoing dispute with a psycho landlord. If that's not enough, he's also an adorable button. The young man; not the psycho.

Here's a taste:

Look At Me! Look At Me! Look At Me! Look At Me!

Alexandra Billings is one of my favourite entertainers in the world. She is absolutely hysterical, whether she is being "Alex" or if she's being Katie, as she is in this video. Please enjoy, and then visit her youtube channel. You'll be thanking me later.


Gay Cheque: Solid Investments









Thursday, July 30, 2009

Married To The Sea

Breakfast At Susan's?

I will admit, I am eager to hear Ms. Boyle's upcoming CD due out this fall.

Am I alone here?

Susan is the decade's best sow's ear/silk purse story and despite her ups (global love) and downs (vacationing at The Priory), she has maintained my interest.

What I am glad to see is that the whirlwind surrounding her has calmed quickly enough to keep us "fascinated with," as opposed to "finished with."

That shy and endearingly awkward woman's I Dreamed A Dream audition that we all first saw, lo, not even four months ago, has garnered over 100 million hits on 20 different sites. I still get goosebumps watching it!






Wednesday, July 29, 2009

America's Next Top....Top?

Sherry Vine does it again! Love her!

The Bachelorette: The Chap Came Back

This past Monday was the final episode of The Bachelorette, which makes this the last recap of the year!

I gotta say that overall, it was an interesting season. Jill is just as cute as can be and repped Canada wonderfully. Most of the guys were hubba hubba and there was more drama than I thought straight men should cause. I'm not sayin'....

It was also the season that I really got to see the devil editing jobs those producers at ABC do. Have they never heard of continuity?

As much as I enjoyed the season, it has to be said that as the number of bachelors dwindled, so did my gusto for the show. I mean, when you've got a slab of beef like Kiptyn, why wouldn't you find ways to have him shirtless in as many episodes as possible?

Anyway, it doesn't matter. She broke his heart. At least he says she did. I have doubts that he really was sprung for her, but we'll never know. Regardless, in true Bachelor/ette fashion, the set of the final rose ceremony (which is the "proposal") was extravagant and somehow makes the rejection more awkward and painful.

"I really care about you, and we totally have a connection, but I've fallen in love with someone else....but don't all these flowers make it feel a little better?"

Yeah, right.

Okay, so now Kip is gone and that means that Ed is going to be her pick right? Not so fast. In one of those dramatic moments that I don't think straight men are want to do, Reid comes back (and he's the third bachelor to do that this season)!


He's nervous. He's sweating. He's disheveled and wearing running shoes. He actually BOUGHT his ring (as in not provided by Neil Lane).

Then, he pours out his heart. He loves her. He should have said it sooner and gets down on one knee and proposes to her.

Denied.


Speaking of rings, Jillian was proposed to with "a $60,000 platinum ring set with a 2.05-carat pear-shaped center diamond with six baguette-cut diamonds to accent the center stone and 94 round-cut diamonds to give it a contemporary look."

Oh, wait! Who gave her the ring!? Well, duh...

Obviously, it was Ed. You know, the bachelor who left because he was scared of losing his job. And then came back. And then couldn't get it up. And then he did.

Congratulations, kids!


On last night's "After The Final Rose", Jill and Ed shared their plans to be married sometime in the next year, and that Jillian is moving to Chicago in September to be with Ed.

Awwwwww....and so ends another fairy tale romance with impossibly unrealistic "dates" filmed for a reality show on American network television.

And for all you Lisp readers in the Chicago area, if you do see Jill, tell her the Lisp says "HI!" and that I want to talk to her!

Hey, Hey, Have You Heard The News?


Yours truly has been invited to fill in over at the notorious j*o*e* while he's on "vacation," which is great except that I'm still sifting for creative gold.

I've received some super ideas and links from longtime readers (you know who you are!) and I'm really thankful for those suggestions. I've got a few things in drafts thanks to them.

But if you've ever been to j*o*e*'s, then you KNOW I'm going to have to skip creative gold and go straight for the platinum.

I'm planning on doing my best at being my worst!

Stay tuned...

FML From The Talkies



"I think tomorrow is a "Say Something" hat day."

~Vida Boheme (Patrick Swayze), To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar

~submitted by Matthew, at The Pansy Bastard™






"Never let 'em see you ache. That's what Mr. Mayer used to say. Or was it "ass"? Never let 'em see your ass."

~Doris Mann(Shirley Maclaine), Postcards From The Edge

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Tuesday's Child...


Special Tuesday's Child bonus flip: Truthspew!!


Just send your flip to thelispblog@gmail.com and become semi-famous!

Monday, July 27, 2009

The Celebration Continues...


Trash Talkin'


After 36 days of striking inside and outside city workers, our illustrious mayor has announced that a tentative settlement has been met.

Toronto residents were denied city run summer camp programs, day care centres, swimming pools, health clinics, cooling centres, island ferry services and left scrambling to make other arrangements.

By far, the biggest impact has been on garbage collection. Poodle and I have been fortunate enough not to have to bring any overflow to one of dozens of makeshift dumps set up in city parks and parking lots. Unfortunately, even with the promise of a deal, garbage collection won't likely start up again until later this week, maybe even on Monday.

For people who have had to take their trash to a dump site, not only do they have the disgusting inconvenience of loading up their cars with stinky garbage, tolerating the overwhelming stink of actually being at a dump site, or having to put up with strking workers who block the dump entrances at lengthy intervals.

I'm sorry....these city workers get paid from tax dollars. That's me.

As far as I'm concerned, these workers should be arrested for disturbing the peace, threatening citizens' health and safety, and terrorism.

The only saving grace has been the fact that it has been a relatively cool summer. Back in 2002, during a 15 day strike, the occasional gust of wind would bring the stink of garbage.

Personally, I cannot WAIT for these garbage collectors to come around and pick up my stinking, rotting, maggoty, fly-ridden, mind numbingly foul smelling trash.

And when they do, I'm going to be standing on my front porch laughing my ass off at them. With a clothespin on my nose, of course.

Peace Out


Alexis Cohen
(2008/2009 American Idol hopeful)

(1984– July 25, 2009)

"You're an asshole!"

Things I Know For Sure: The Stupid Lyrics Edition

Backstreet Boys, Quit Playing Games With My Heart

"Sometimes I wish that I could turn back time, impossible as it may seem."

MAY seem? Do the BB know something about time travel that we don't. Sorry, "boys" it IS impossible.

Enrique Igleasias, Do You Know

"Do you know what it feels like loving someone that’s in a rush to throw you away?
Do you know, do you know, do you know, do ya?
Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?"

I know that happens...sometimes. So, I'm going to go ahead and say, NO, we don't know what it feels like when the locks have been all changed up. Dude...what the hell did you do!?

Shakira, Whatever, Whenever

"Lucky that my breasts are small and humble so you don't confuse them with mountains."

Just how big do the bubbies grow in Columbia?

Ooooooh, I see. Okay.



Mariah Carey, Obsessed

"Got you all fired up with your Napoleon complex.
See right through you like you’re bathin’ in Windex."

What? WHAT!?

That doesn't even make any sense!

I'd like to remind everyone that this woman is two years shy of her 40th birthday.


Girls Aloud, The Loving Kind

"Baby, if you find I'm not the loving kind,
I'll buy you flowers I'll pour you wine.
Do anything to change your mind.
I know you may be disinclined
to find the love you left behind."

Okay, girls...let me tell you something. If a dude thinks that you're not "the loving kind," it's going to take a lot more than pouring a glass of wine. And flowers? What is he a homo? Also, if you already recognize that he may be disinclined, why are you bothering, you needy wanker?

Peace Out


Mark Leduc

May 4, 1962 – July 22, 2009

It's Monday...

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