If Anyone Had Their Doubts Before...

...they are surely gone.

Coop commented on Heidi Montag's performance at the Miss Universe pageant, calling it "a fresh new way to embarass herself."

Heidi might be over the moon that someone like Andy knows her name but I'm more excited that this just proves that he's a big 'mo.

Anderson, if you're reading this, I'd love the scoop on the Coop!

Hook a bitch up!!!!

Peace Out

Adam (DJ AM) Goldstein

March 30, 1973 – August 28, 2009

"New York, New York. Big City of dreams, but everything in New York
ain't always what it seems."

Famous Like Who?

I don't intend to alarm anyone, but whilst traipsing through my blogs, I discovered that Famous Like Me is not there anymore.

This is not a good way to start the weekend, Donnie.

What the EFF?

UPDATE: iDonnie is fine. He's just on a break. Well, those weren't his words exactly, but I've decided for him that it's just a pause for the cause.

Gay Cheque: Mature Investments

Everyone here is over 40, and one is 50! Sexy!

Come Join The Party!

After several teasers (we all know how I feel about the last one), this is more like it!

Sexiest? We'll See...

DNA's next issue is all about the 2009's sexiest men alive. Wait. Isn't it still summer?

Anyway, it's chock-a-block with models, actors, porn stars and sports folk. No bloggers, though. That's odd, no?

Sure, your tried and true studs are there like Bale, Clooney and Gyllenhaal, but the fundamental problem with lists like this is that you always see a bunch of men that make you shake your head and say, "Really?" On the flipside, we're bound to see comments like, "...but what about X?"

But overall, I'm actually kind of pleased. While I feel nothing for the CANADIAN (Alexandre Despatie) on the list --except for pride-- there's quite a few Alternate Universe Ex-Boyfriends (AUX) that made the cut.

F'rinstance....

Randy Blue's Reese, Leo and Chris all made the list. Trust me, I have ZERO disagreement here. I would pay money to sit in a chair and watch them go at each other like sharks to chum.

Moving on to Sports...

My newest and most significant crush, shooting to #1 with a bullet, is David "Wolfman" Williams, who makes me want to do things to his Cash and Prizes that may render him a eunuch by the time I'm done with him. He's joined by fellow God of Football, Daniel Conn, who makes me want to pour melted Belgian chocolate on his tattoos and draw my initials with my tongue.

...or whatever.

Next, we have two hairy hubba hubbas that have appeared on The List.
That reminds me...I need to update that thing!

Anyway, DNA's picks of Italian dish Alessandro Calza and Philly's Bryan Thomas could not be more appropriate, especially since having had them as sometime gentlemen callers. Fantasies count, right? RIGHT!?!?

I won't give too much more away. I don't want to be "that guy." I will say this: I am so pleased to see uber-hubba Gerard Butler make it onto DNA's list.

Last year, Gerry was completely missed on...People's list? Out's Hot 100? Or was it Queerty? Yeah, it really infuriated me!

WHAT?

Anyway, he's in this one and it just goes to show that when trying to figure out who the hottest guys are, ask the gayest ones.

So, that's it. When it comes out, you'll see for yourself the list of yea's and nay's. Like Chace Crawford, Brent Corrigan, and...Kanye West???

But, what about this guy??? I may not have a clue who he is, and he might have a bit of weird choice in tattoos, but he is steaming hot!





If you know who he is, hook a bitch up!!!!

Peace Out

Dominick Dunne

October 29, 1925 - August 26, 2009

“I am so bummed out. I had gotten all excited about Catholicism again. I just loved all the people
and ceremony of the last few weeks, all the hundreds of thousands in the square.
I was out to lunch when I heard, 'It's the German.' You could just feel everyone groan.”






Ted Kennedy

February 22, 1932 – August 25, 2009

The separation of church and state can sometimes be frustrating for women and men of
religious faith. They may be tempted to misuse government in order to impose a value
which they cannot persuade others to accept. But once we succumb to that temptation,
we step onto a slippery slope where everyone’s freedom is at risk. 

What The FONT? Freebie!

For cryin' in the sink! I haven't received ONE entry for the contest!

So, out of the kindness of my heart, I'm willing to give the answer to ONE of the fonts. Whoever is the first to comment here can ask for the answer for any of the questions.

Move quickly, but choose wisely!

If Jesus Is A DJ...

Here's just a teensy wee piece of the upcoming Celebration video.

You'll notice that Jesus is the DJ, and Paul Oakenfold (the actual DJ who co-wrote Celebration) is off dancing alone. Not even in an aDORKable way. Just ... loser-ish. Jesus has all these hipster peeps dancing around him and Paul is literally pieced in after green screening his part. Sad. Enjoy!

A Lesson In...

How NOT To Hit On A Woman
~or~
"Honey, you got a little crazy on your face."


(enlargerize for jaw dropping craziness)

Tuesday's Child...

Contest: What The FONT?!

So here's something I thought would be kinda cool. I've been wanting to do a contest for a long time, but I wanted something that was a little more difficult than looking something up on the wiki...

With Lady M's birthday month coming to a close, I thought I'd get a little creative on your ass.

I've posted 30 different fonts that have been used throughout Madonna's musical career. It's up to you to figure out which font went with what project!


For example:

You know that it's the font used from the upcoming Celebration release!

Then, all you have to do is E-MAIL your answers, with "What the Font?" in the subject line, to thelispblog@gmail.com!!

You've got until Friday at midnight. The person who scores the highest will win...well, I don't know what yet, but there's going to be some kind of prize!

GO!

Remember, E-MAIL your answers to thelispblog@gmail.com before midnight, Friday August 28th.

It's Monday...

WANT

I don't ask for very much, do I?

Okay, don't answer that...but look at this cool t-shirt from Oak.

I wonder if they have it in my size? With my luck, the model is wearing the largest size.

FML From The Talkies

"Tell me, Rose, is 'Kill the Bitch' a traditional St. Olaf party game?"

Dorothy (Bea Arthur) to Rose (Betty White), The Golden Girls

~submitted by The Pansy Bastard~

Gay Cheque: Sit Tight & Spread The Wealth

Is It A Name, Is It A Mood, or .....?

Bedtime Story

It's been awhile...but I'm awake, so there.

What we're gong to do now is go back. Back to September 1984, where a chunky introvert began his high school career.

There were so many reasons to be nervous about starting High School, but the one that caused me the most grief was having to take Phys. Ed. -- and in the first semester when there's still hot summer-ish days, with outdoor sports; shirts versus skins! Stomach flips at the thought.

The time for gym class comes. There I am sitting in a gymnasium with 30 other boys, all of whom are more likely to be far more capable with a basketball than I could ever hope to be.

We're getting the rundown from the teacher --a mid 40's man with his track pants pulled up to his sternum. You can imagine the repercussions of such a fashion choice. I'm sitting there, in a too tight Grey t-shirt with too short maroon polyester shorts. Cue the chafing music for when my too fat thighs will start to rub together during some dreadful sport ball game.

There was only one game with a ball that I liked and that was Dodge ball. You could be quick and agile, or you could do like me and make the choice to get hit early so that you can stop playing.

How, by the way, is this a prerequisite for a diploma??? I'm going to be an artist, not an athlete!

After some excruciating Fitness Tests on this tragic first day of High School, the time came to start the countdown to the next class. But my clock watching was interrupted when we were instructed to "hit the showers!" Hit the showers? I'm going to hit the deck!

It never occurred to me that I would have to take a shower!

"Detention for anyone who skips out on showering," the teacher would say. "No one wants to smell a classroom full of sweaty teen aged boys for the rest of the day!"

We all headed to the locker room and I was amazed at how easily the guys stripped off to nothing and walked around so nonchalantly with their business on display.

I took a deep breath, stripped off and took the quickest shower on record. While I dried off, i began to feel liberated and unlimited. My frantic need to get dressed subsided slightly. I was laughing with a friend, both of us sitting on a bench, when Dick walked up to me.

I looked up at him and he was quiet for only a moment; a look of total disgust crept across his face.

"Kevin, why don't you lose some fucking weight?"

Then, there was laughing from all four corners of the locker room. I'm sitting here, not doing anything except talking and wham-mo!

There were plenty other targets that day. What about Chris who was so shy that he showered with his underwear on? What about Darren, whose back was covered in angry pink acne? And Carlos, who was the hairiest 13 year old I had ever seen. Even Billy, who was bigger than be by at least 30lbs.

"Why don't' you lose some weight?"

I could have said a million things, but all I could muster was a feeble, "Shut up."

A couple of weeks later, I convinced my mother to cough up $350 so that I could lose 15lbs. Actually, I lost 20lbs, but not one person said a thing. Even Dick said nothing after I dumped all that extra fat. Matter of fact, the only other time Dick ever said to me during the next 4 years was, "Wanna come to my Grad party?"

I've since accepted a friend request from him on Facebook, but I did it because I wanted to see if he had gotten fat; he's heavier but unfortunately, that is an empty victory that quickly became very tired.

China

China, all the way to New York:
I can feel the distance getting close.
You're right next to me
but I need an airplane;
I can feel the distance as you breathe.

Sometimes I think you want me to touch you.
How can I when you build a great wall around you?

In your eyes I saw a future together.
You just look away in the distance...

China decorates our table.
Funny how the cracks don't seem to show.
Pour the wine, dear.
You say we'll take a holiday.
But we never can agree on where to go...

Sometimes I think you want to me to touch you.
How can I when you build a great wall around you.

In your eyes I saw a future together.
You just look away in the distance.

China all the way to New York...
...maybe you got lost in Mexico.
You're right next to me;
I think that you can hear me.
Funny how the distance learns to grow.

Sometimes I think you want me to touch you.
How can I when you build a great wall around you?

I can feel the distance...
I can feel the distance...
I can feel the distance
getting close.

Caption This!....

....mofo's!!!

It's been ages since we had some Caption This! Have yourself a healthy go!

It's 1:37AM...

Mother Nature...

...has a little perv on her face.

I Know That Something Good Is Gonna Happen

I See You...

Hello to:

Hamburg, Germany, 93 pages
O Fallon, Missouri, 65 pages
Calgary, Alberta, 65 pages
Anderlues, Belgium, 59 pages

Keep coming back!

Levi Johnston: Do You, Or Don't You?

Levi Johnston, once famous for being Bristol Palin's babydaddy, has seen a surge in his popularity.

Levi hasn't been speaking out against the Palin family; he just seems to be the only person willing to give an honest answer to a question. Chalk it up to being 19, or maybe he really is that fearless. Either way, I'm kinda wanting to hear a little more from this guy.

Yes, we all got to see the clean cut Alaskan at the conventions, and the hockey pics and so on. But, Levi's gay powderkeg sparked after his GQ photographs. Shirtless young dad changing diapers; camo-hunter with Old Hollywood features.

Last week, Levi appeared on Andy Cohen's Watch What Happens Live, where blogger extraordinaire, Andy Towle of Towleroad, tweeted the question heard 'round the gay bars:

If he knew that he had become something of a gay pin-up boy, and how he felt about it.

Said Johnston: "I think it's great man, um, I like my fans. Just another person." When Cohen asked Johnston if there were any gays in Wasilla, Johnston responded, "Oh yeah. We got gays in Wasilla, Anchorage, they're all up here."

Since then, some bloggers have begun referring to him as a "gay icon." Hold the phone; shift it back....Icon? No. Absolutely not. I refuse to accept that a cute, straight boy who fucked a patsy, straight girl and made a baby (supposedly), is anywhere close to icon status, gay or otherwise.

Following that logic, I skipped all coffee today so I should be recieving the crown jewels via UPS any moment now.

Regardless, the folks at Unzipped have spotted a good thing and are willing to pay to SEE Levi's johnson. Here's a young, unemployed new fame whore dude with bills to pay and diapers to buy. Might we get a glimpse at Levi's rifle?

So, that brings us to The Lisp poll: Do you or don't you wanna see It? I'm using Poll Daddy so you can add your own responses.

I'd love to hear what you have to say. Hey, you should tell other folks to come a vote, too. I'll send the results on to Unzipped so they can get an idea of what y'all want (or don't want) to see.