Snow Way!

There's about six hours left in this day, but something really awesome could happen...

If it doesn't snow today, it will be the first time in 70 years that Toronto hasn't had snow in the month of November.

Thank you, El Niño.

It's Monday...

Kodak Moments: Skaters & BMX'ers

The Bitch Is Back?

Hi Kids,

I think it's fair to say that things are a bit back to normal 'round here. I've had my hard drive replaced with an external hard drive. I've been defragged, debugged and deloused. Okay, that last one was more like a flea dip, but still...

More importantly, I've got all my music, pics, videos, and half-completed projects back. Praise jeebus!

Let me know if you see anything that looks different, from the header size to the Site Meter button.

Also, if anyone has any links to stuff that I may have missed in the last few days, feel free to send it on! You'll save me some time pouring over pages and pages of missed articles and pictures.

Cheers!

Gay Cheque: The Euro Is Strong

Alessandro Calza (one of my alternate universe boyfriends)

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American lovers readers!

...and good luck tomorrow!

Random Thoughts And Things I Know For Sure

So I've been gone for what? five days. A whole lotta shizz has gone down since the TechGods forced me to sign off. Here's some stuff I've been thinking about:

Don't shave/shape a treasure trail. As it grows out, it looks dumb. Really dumb. Either you have one or you don't. Look at it this way; if you're hirsute, but you don't have the TT, you're hotter for it. Trust.

I was over this before it even began.

Look...Adam may have gotten "carried away," but come on! Madonna, Britney, Prince, Christina, Kim, Michael and so so so many others have gotten away with so much more. I'm a little fed up. Oh, and this isn't in support of Adam Lambert, it's in support of gay equality.

No one is going to pay $15, 000 for a liter of human fat!

However, I'd be willing to shuck a liter for a paltry 5 G's. The only stipulation is that you can't kill me dead. How else can I keep harvesting all that fat for all that Peruvian skin cream!?

True or False: I think the shape of a man's bent knee is totally hot?

True.

I used to have these exact same BR underpants. I say "used to" because as soon as I saw this picture, I assumed mine were broken, so I threw them out.


Oh. This one.

I don't even care anymore. For 10 Grand, I'd show the inner workings of my downstairs. I'd let the camera get right up in front and snap away at the good stuff. I'd also know who to recommend to style and photograph my shoot. Joe Oppedisano, anyone?

I'd also know to take an Ativan or hook up with my good friend Mary Jane beforehand so that I didn't look so damn uptight.I bet that right before the shoot, someone told him that it's not women who subscribe to Playgirl.

Guest Editor, Kyle from Pluto Drive

As you know, The Lisp has put out an APB for your favourite tracks of 2009 (and THANK YOU to everyone who has submitted so far!). Kyle, the tatted hottie from Pluto Drive sent me his choice and I just had to share. Especially, since I'm on a tech/blog pause.

Enjoy.

2009; the year of the blitz! or, more appropriately a blitz!

so i must preface this with an official proclamation: i’ve become that guy. the guy that says there is no good “new” music. the guy that doesn't quite understand what the kids are listening to these days. and it saddens me.

in looking back over the course of 2009 at both the new music that i bought, and a list of most all of the stuff that actually came out, i’m left with a bit of a question mark. what really was the musical story of 2009? sure there was some interesting things, the new peaches comes to mind. as does parts of lotus flow3r from prince, and of course there’s the new robbie williams that just came out (never-mind that i haven’t even given the new u2 a listen...) - most of the ‘established’ acts weren’t really doing anything new or for that matter interesting. yes, i love the new robbie, but is it for the music, or for the energy he puts out?

what about the "the" new music i hear yo uask...well, lets just say i’ve been burned too many times to actively seek out the new voices. i mean, you can only be disappointed so many times, right? sure, there are some fun new voices; la roux & paloma faith come to mind. but aren't they just interesting retreads of iconic sounds (yaz & amy winehouse respectively)? 2009 will go down in the books as being “eh”.

there has been one record that has consistently ripped me up all year long tho’; yeah yeah yeah’s’ it’s blitz!. i can’t remember the last time a known band so radically changed its sound (from wall of guitars, to wall of keyboards) - and changed it so deftly.

from the opening burbles of “zero” to the closing drone of “faces”, it’s blitz! proved a commanding understanding of what makes alternative pop work - shear force of will matched with the balls to throw something up to see if it sticks. of course, huge swaths of the album remind you of the brilliance of siouxsie & the banshees from back in the day (but i think that is more of a common thread in all of the yyy’s music due to karen o’s tremendous scream), and the album certainly shows a healthy respect for the 80’s as well - but this album is full of sneer, attitude and full-one fury. it sounds like the dark, wet streets of new york at 3am. you’re either coming from the party, or going to the next party.

less disco than the reviews would have you believe - this is a full on rock record that simple exchanged the guitar for the keyboard. or perhaps it’s disco via a unholy union of new order & blondie. karen & co are simply rockers that know how to dance and throw one helluva party.

now, you didn’t ask for a dissertation on my favorite album, so i will try to whittle this down to my love of one or two tracks (brief was never my strong suit) - but i’m so torn. do i talk about the craze of ‘heads will roll’, the somber tone-poem of ‘runaway’ or the shiny electro/funk of ‘dragon queen’? dance till you’re dead, indeed.

fuck it. i can’t choose.

this album just slams with potential and energy and life. it’s a groove on headphones, a sing-at-the-top-of-your-lungs in the car and a tear the roof of the joint live show all rolled in one. simply put, it’s blitz! is a tour de force from a band that easily could have just put out fever to tell pt 3. instead they tried something new, threw it up an the air and it surprisingly stuck.

the best album of 2009. and as the critics have said time and time over, it may just be the best alternative pop album of the decade.

Break Time

Thanks to some technical difficulties, I'll be taking a small break.

Be back shooon.

Gay Cheque, Special Edition, Never-Before-Seen, World Exclusive: Does A Bear Market Cruise In The Woods?

Today's Gay Cheque is something fucking special. Truly.

My all time favourite photographer, Joe Oppedisano, sent me these shots taken during the Bears & Bikers weekend in Asbury Park. Yes, that's right. He sent them personally.

The word "Icon" is tossed about far too liberally. I mean, Levi J. is cute an all, but calling him a "gay icon" is a bit much. Joe Oppedisano is definitely an icon! The man has created some of the most inspiring, erotic, and iconic images. Unlike most photographers, you can usually spot an Oppedisano image.

Please enjoy this super special Gay Cheque with exclusive future iconic gay images!
Oh, and the current banner also features an exclusive Joe Oppedisano shot!

UPDATE: I've posted said banner at the end of this post.














I know, right!? I could wet myself!

Thank you, Joe!!!

Tell It!

Tuesday'sWednesday's Child...

Oops, sorry about that kids! I completely forgot that yesterday was Tuesday. Then when I remembered, Blogger was being a bitch and I couldn't upload any pictures. Suffice it to say, she was lit.

Anyway, you get not one, not two, but three flippers today! You may recognize the first two from around the blogosphere:

Kelly Stern and a Hobbit--looking rather dashing in his tuxedo!

Sweet! Thanks, guys!

If you want to be a Tuesday's Child, just send your flipping jpeg to thelispblog@gmail.com.

I'll be waiting...especially for yours, Michael Rivers!

Oh Yeah, That's Levi

totes snagged from London Calling, Luv.

The Lisp Review ~ Kris Allen, Lady GaGa, Rihanna

Kris Allen ~ Kris Allen
November 16, 2009

I think this will be the last Idol record I ever review. This record is all the proof the Kris haters need to prove that Adam Lambert should have been crowned Idol. Yes, yes, they have different styles blahblahblah... Regardless of what you think you witnessed watching AI8, I am of the opinion that they are both artists.

This is just not a great CD. I've got Kris' earlier stuff and I love it. I was hoping for something a little more "Mraz-zy"; instead, I find myself wishing for a little less "Hootie." I'm thinking this is the result of a very restrictive contract with 19, which is not such a hard thing to believe, since it's a known fact that they aren't really "artist driven."

There are a couple of groovy tracks, like Can't Stay Away, and Written All Over My Face. The CD closes with a new version of Heartless, which is alright, but I kinda liked his iTunes version better. Unfortunately, I just hear a lot of what I call "radio filler." I'm sure I don't need to explain.

Oh, the booklet has some pretty pictures in it! ★★☆☆☆


Lady GaGa ~ The Fame Monster
November 24, 2009

I don't want to give in to this bitch, I really don't. But dammit!!! She keeps pushing!

The Fame Monster is an interesting collection of tunes. I'm not even sure why I'm reviewing it; almost every track has been leaked online. So here's a link to hear a GaGa sampler! (playlist at the end of the review)

Most of this sounds very much like her first release, The Fame. Actually, this is like The Fame's little baby.

Let's see...good things: Bad Romance is the video version so at least she doesn't launch into that Rah-Rah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Roma-Roma-Ma-GaGa-OhLaLa right out of the gate. Speechless is a great track; it's a rocky ballady Beatles meets, well, Lady GaGa. Definitely one of the most different sounding things she's pumped out of that dark, couture addicted brain. In fact, I think most of these could be singles. Even, dare I say, the Beyoncé aided Telephone. Actually, between you and me, I hope it is released as a single. I kinda want to see what GaGa can get her do.

To sum up, if you're a GaGa fan, you're going to lurrrve it. If you're not, you might start liking her, or you may be like Stephen Rader's mom and continue to ask, "What in the hell is a Lady GaGa?" ★★★★☆


Rihanna ~ Rated R
November 23, 2009

I blame Chris Brown. There. I said it.

This much-anticipated release is bound to disappoint you if you want Rihanna to tell you to shut up and drive, that she's gon' break some dishes, or something else-else-else. Instead, she'd like you to know that she's "a fuckin' lady" and that she's "not stupid in love."

This is a dark album. Even the intro, The Madhouse, warns "those of you easily frightened, to turn away now." In my opinion, the first single, Russian Roulette, is the only real single. Even the second single, Wait Your Turn (aka The Wait Is Ova) was leaked, along with the video, with on-the-fence reactions. It's not to say that there isn't a radio-friendly track in this broken-hearted woman's collection of songs; it's just that there isn't anything like we're used to. I think my favourite track is Te Amo, which sounds like a story about a close, intimate relationship with an exotic woman. It could be a love song or it could just be about a woman who gave her strength. Either way, I think it's wonderful.

Having listened a few times, start to finish, I think it's fair to say that this is such a concept album. The whole thing tells a story. Infidelity, fame, abuse, going back - it's all there.

Maybe this is growth? ★★★☆☆

Lady GaGa ~ The Fame Monster Playlist

• Bad Romance
• Alejandro
• Monster
• Speechless
• Dance In The Dark
• Telephone (feat. Beyoncé)
• So Happy I Could Die
• Teeth
  

I Wanna Be A Muppet

Muppets clearly have it made! Just look at this picure:


Yes, that's Prince, but I'm not referring to him. Look again. One row behind and two over to the left.


She looks like the love child of Donatella Versace and a Muppet. Wild, huh? Oh, and yes, Prince looks like a Fairy Pimp-ress.

(Thanks to VGL for thinkin' of me!)