Monday, November 30, 2009

Snow Way!

There's about six hours left in this day, but something really awesome could happen...

If it doesn't snow today, it will be the first time in 70 years that Toronto hasn't had snow in the month of November.

Thank you, El NiƱo.

It's Monday...

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Kodak Moments: Skaters & BMX'ers

The Bitch Is Back?

Hi Kids,

I think it's fair to say that things are a bit back to normal 'round here. I've had my hard drive replaced with an external hard drive. I've been defragged, debugged and deloused. Okay, that last one was more like a flea dip, but still...

More importantly, I've got all my music, pics, videos, and half-completed projects back. Praise jeebus!

Let me know if you see anything that looks different, from the header size to the Site Meter button.

Also, if anyone has any links to stuff that I may have missed in the last few days, feel free to send it on! You'll save me some time pouring over pages and pages of missed articles and pictures.


Friday, November 27, 2009

Gay Cheque: The Euro Is Strong

Alessandro Calza (one of my alternate universe boyfriends)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American lovers readers!
...and good luck tomorrow!

Random Thoughts And Things I Know For Sure

So I've been gone for what? five days. A whole lotta shizz has gone down since the TechGods forced me to sign off. Here's some stuff I've been thinking about:

Don't shave/shape a treasure trail. As it grows out, it looks dumb. Really dumb. Either you have one or you don't. Look at it this way; if you're hirsute, but you don't have the TT, you're hotter for it. Trust.

I was over this before it even began.
Look...Adam may have gotten "carried away," but come on! Madonna, Britney, Prince, Christina, Kim, Michael and so so so many others have gotten away with so much more. I'm a little fed up. Oh, and this isn't in support of Adam Lambert, it's in support of gay equality.

No one is going to pay $15, 000 for a liter of human fat!

However, I'd be willing to shuck a liter for a paltry 5 G's. The only stipulation is that you can't kill me dead. How else can I keep harvesting all that fat for all that Peruvian skin cream!?
True or False: I think the shape of a man's bent knee is totally hot?


I used to have these exact same BR underpants. I say "used to" because as soon as I saw this picture, I assumed mine were broken, so I threw them out.

Oh. This one.

I don't even care anymore. For 10 Grand, I'd show the inner workings of my downstairs. I'd let the camera get right up in front and snap away at the good stuff. I'd also know who to recommend to style and photograph my shoot. Joe Oppedisano, anyone?

I'd also know to take an Ativan or hook up with my good friend Mary Jane beforehand so that I didn't look so damn uptight.I bet that right before the shoot, someone told him that it's not women who subscribe to Playgirl.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Guest Editor, Kyle from Pluto Drive

As you know, The Lisp has put out an APB for your favourite tracks of 2009 (and THANK YOU to everyone who has submitted so far!). Kyle, the tatted hottie from Pluto Drive sent me his choice and I just had to share. Especially, since I'm on a tech/blog pause.

2009; the year of the blitz! or, more appropriately a blitz!
so i must preface this with an official proclamation: i’ve become that guy. the guy that says there is no good “new” music. the guy that doesn't quite understand what the kids are listening to these days. and it saddens me.

in looking back over the course of 2009 at both the new music that i bought, and a list of most all of the stuff that actually came out, i’m left with a bit of a question mark. what really was the musical story of 2009? sure there was some interesting things, the new peaches comes to mind. as does parts of lotus flow3r from prince, and of course there’s the new robbie williams that just came out (never-mind that i haven’t even given the new u2 a listen...) - most of the ‘established’ acts weren’t really doing anything new or for that matter interesting. yes, i love the new robbie, but is it for the music, or for the energy he puts out?

what about the "the" new music i hear yo uask...well, lets just say i’ve been burned too many times to actively seek out the new voices. i mean, you can only be disappointed so many times, right? sure, there are some fun new voices; la roux & paloma faith come to mind. but aren't they just interesting retreads of iconic sounds (yaz & amy winehouse respectively)? 2009 will go down in the books as being “eh”.

there has been one record that has consistently ripped me up all year long tho’; yeah yeah yeah’s’ it’s blitz!. i can’t remember the last time a known band so radically changed its sound (from wall of guitars, to wall of keyboards) - and changed it so deftly.

from the opening burbles of “zero” to the closing drone of “faces”, it’s blitz! proved a commanding understanding of what makes alternative pop work - shear force of will matched with the balls to throw something up to see if it sticks. of course, huge swaths of the album remind you of the brilliance of siouxsie & the banshees from back in the day (but i think that is more of a common thread in all of the yyy’s music due to karen o’s tremendous scream), and the album certainly shows a healthy respect for the 80’s as well - but this album is full of sneer, attitude and full-one fury. it sounds like the dark, wet streets of new york at 3am. you’re either coming from the party, or going to the next party.

less disco than the reviews would have you believe - this is a full on rock record that simple exchanged the guitar for the keyboard. or perhaps it’s disco via a unholy union of new order & blondie. karen & co are simply rockers that know how to dance and throw one helluva party.

now, you didn’t ask for a dissertation on my favorite album, so i will try to whittle this down to my love of one or two tracks (brief was never my strong suit) - but i’m so torn. do i talk about the craze of ‘heads will roll’, the somber tone-poem of ‘runaway’ or the shiny electro/funk of ‘dragon queen’? dance till you’re dead, indeed.

fuck it. i can’t choose.

this album just slams with potential and energy and life. it’s a groove on headphones, a sing-at-the-top-of-your-lungs in the car and a tear the roof of the joint live show all rolled in one. simply put, it’s blitz! is a tour de force from a band that easily could have just put out fever to tell pt 3. instead they tried something new, threw it up an the air and it surprisingly stuck.

the best album of 2009. and as the critics have said time and time over, it may just be the best alternative pop album of the decade.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Break Time

Thanks to some technical difficulties, I'll be taking a small break.
Be back shooon.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Gay Cheque, Special Edition, Never-Before-Seen, World Exclusive: Does A Bear Market Cruise In The Woods?

Today's Gay Cheque is something fucking special. Truly.

My all time favourite photographer, Joe Oppedisano, sent me these shots taken during the Bears & Bikers weekend in Asbury Park. Yes, that's right. He sent them personally.

The word "Icon" is tossed about far too liberally. I mean, Levi J. is cute an all, but calling him a "gay icon" is a bit much. Joe Oppedisano is definitely an icon! The man has created some of the most inspiring, erotic, and iconic images. Unlike most photographers, you can usually spot an Oppedisano image.

Please enjoy this super special Gay Cheque with exclusive future iconic gay images!
Oh, and the current banner also features an exclusive Joe Oppedisano shot!

UPDATE: I've posted said banner at the end of this post.

I know, right!? I could wet myself!

Thank you, Joe!!!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

I Wanna Be A Muppet

Muppets clearly have it made! Just look at this picure:

Yes, that's Prince, but I'm not referring to him. Look again. One row behind and two over to the left.

She looks like the love child of Donatella Versace and a Muppet. Wild, huh? Oh, and yes, Prince looks like a Fairy Pimp-ress.

(Thanks to VGL for thinkin' of me!)

Monday, November 16, 2009

A Joke For You ~ from The Poodle

Toward the end of a Sunday service, the Minister asked, “How many of you have forgiven your enemies?”
All responded, except one small elderly lady.
“Mrs. Neely, Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?”
“I don’t have any”, she replied, smiling sweetly.
“Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?”
“Ninety-eight”, she replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.
“Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?”

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, “I outlived the bitches”.

It's Monday...

Kodak Moments

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Da-Da-Da-Dum...Snap! Snap!

Coming soon: Broadway brilliance or a hot mess!

The Reveal

For anyone that has been following The Notorious J*O*E* blog for any length of time, you know that Josefina once worked in, and has sworn off of, the business of show.

Not true.

I'm eager to reveal that I have cracked all the codes, deciphered the hidden messages, played the record backwards and I have Jessica Fletcher-ed the truth, that Josefina has in fact NOT sworn off the glitzy world of Hollyweird, and is about to rejoin her ranks!

I'm about to blow the roof off the joint so hold on tight to your 'nads, bitches!

I have learned that Joe is replacing Mark Salling as Puck on Glee!!!!! Don't believe
me? Just look at the evidence I've found! It would appear these images all come from re-shoots for the DVD release!

...and take a look at these!!!

Oh,'s not true. But you wanna know what IS true?

Come closer...


...a little closer...

Today is the bitch's birfday!

Head on over and give Joe the virtual paddywhacks!


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