Friday, May 21, 2010

Coming Out

Ladies, gentle-ladies, this is a letter written to the forums at DNA magazine and I felt compelled to post it here...I also invited A3Ro (the author) to stop in and read your responses.

"I'm still in high school and have, just days ago, told my best (female) friend that I was gay. She reacted really well, though sort of refused to talk about it afterwards.

"Anyway, I'm really getting sick of keeping it to myself and would really like to be openly gay. The only problem is that I live in a rural area (a town of 35000 people) and go to a private school, in which they have refused to mention homosexuality. I know that many of my friends would reject me, and that I would most likely be bullied by certain people in the school. I'm not even sure of what the reactions of some of my friends would be.

"I'm just wondering, what do you guys think I should do? How did you come out and who to at first? What was the overall reaction?"

Well??

5 comments:

  1. Judging by the fact that he's going to a private high school that "refuses to mention" homosexuality, I suspect that his parents are footing the bill and may also have a negative reaction to this kid coming out. Also, in a town as small as he describes, I'm sure if he starts telling people, his parents will find out anyhow. Since she "refused to talk about it afterwards", I doubt his "best" female friend will be of any comfort to him if things go bad... He could be taken out of school, which will put his future in jeopardy, he could be beaten up, he could also be kicked out of his home.

    I know how wrong it may sound, but my only advice to this kid would be to do everything he can to make himself secure and stable enough to move the fuck away.

    Then, at your first Thanksgiving back home with your family... Make the huge announcement during dinner.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree with Mike. You should only come out if you are in a safe and supportive environment. This doesn't seem to be the case at this time. Invest your time in planning your escape. Earn and save as much money as you can and do some research to find a new home. Use LGBT centers to make connections and get info. Big cities have lots of gays but are more expensive then smaller ones.

    Good luck and know that you are not alone and you are normal and worthy of love.

    ReplyDelete
  3. A3Ro,

    I had a limited coming out experience at a similarly young age in a town of approximate size. I made it thought, but it wasn't easy, and I took a lot of lip because of it.

    So: first of all, take care of yourself. More than anything, you need to do what you need to do in order to get to a place where you can be YOU, freely, and without looking over your shoulder. It sounds like you might make it worse for yourself if your reality becomes something that your community is forced to deal with. Don't put yourself in any danger. You will do the world much more good as a healthy functioning member of society than as an "example".

    If you feel that you will still be safe coming out (i.e., in NO bodily danger) then follow your heart. Follow your gut, too.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wait until you move to the big city and go to college like the rest of us. Fuck High School and fuck that little town.

    ReplyDelete

you better make this good.

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