That's Gon' Be A Shallow Gene Pool, Right There

Word on the proverbial street is that Alicia "I Ain't No Lezbeen" Keys is all pregnant.

What's that? Is there a baby daddy? Surprisingly, yes. I didn't even know this girl was dating anyone or, depending on what you believe, cultivating an acceptable beard.

So this baby-daddy... it's not a kitchen accessory purchased from Williams-Sonoma...it's some Hip Hop throwaway that goes by the name Swizz Beatz. Sounds more like a flavoured coffee, if you ask me. Acutally, given how ugly he is (there. I said it), it should be Swizz Beatzed Down Wit Ugglee Styckz.

Come on, girl. Either get your water wings on, or dive in the pool with the rest of the gays.

~as seen on~