Sunday, January 31, 2010

Minutes Old...Another Lance And Mike

No offense Lance Bass, but you never really did it for me. I'm sure you're lovely, and I would totally be your friend, but blonds have rarely made The List.

However, these shots have given me pause. Ruiz is a genius.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Lance Bass By Mike Ruiz

Hot on the tweet trail, this Lance Bass image was just twitted...twatted...tweetered...anyway, by Mike Ruiz. Best of the bunch, as far as we're concerned!


Thursday, January 28, 2010

Aw, Twit

FYI, TheLisp is now on Twitter.

Follow TheLispBlog on Twitter

iWant. iCan't

Peace Out

J. D. Salinger

(January 1, 1919 – January 27, 2010)

". . . . I’m standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff—I mean if they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That’s all I’d do all day. I’d just be the catcher in the rye and all."

Different Diva, Same Leak

Two more tracks have leaked from one of my most anticipated releases of the year. Hell, of the past several years!

The Moon and the Sky


These are, of course, super-chill tracks. Love her.

Dirty Birdie Thursday

This one isn't so much dirty birdie as it is a fantasy find on the way to the cottage.
Houseboy, anyone?

If you can pause long enough from admiring the lurid digs, you may find
something else to admire (it enlargerizes big). Somebody's been practicing his yoga!

Look at those calves! Look at those thighs!
Look at that skillfully placed (this one enlargerizes huge) Jim Nabors picture!

Mariah As A Slutty Nurse? I Did NOT See That Coming

Yes, it's a Mariah video, but it's too brilliantly bad not to post and rip apart.
Look for the epic WIN at 1:35 (and the attempt at a "save" at 1:44).
This video looks like it was filmed in 15 minutes. Srsly.

Oh, and MooMoo, about the ending of your's been done.
To death.

And it's really too bad for Nicki Minaj...I was kind of liking her.
Too bad her association with MC will make her a "never was."

Update: I was informed (by someone who wanted to stay anonymous-- you...yellowbellied, lilylivered...) that this video isn't even up on Mariah's site, so I guess I just "premiered" it here on The Lisp. I'm so proud.
Yippty-fucking-yahoo for me.

I need Ipecac.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

State Of The Union

Well, there you have it.

It will be interesting to see how the polls turn out tomorrow.

Obviously, I'm not going to break down the address since I'm sure everyone watched, but can I take a minute to discuss one thing?

Civil Rights. When he brought it up, I got a little chill. I thought here it comes, here it comes! He talked about the Iranian women and blah-de-blah, and then the magic words: Repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell. The question of when is altogether different, but there's a comfort in hearing his reassurance. But then, nothing of marriage equality; nothing about Uganda's "Kill Bill." Disappointing, yes, but not discouraging.

As a Canadian, the goings-on of the USA has always been of important interest, being that We're. Right. Here.

I watched it on CNN which had some kind of live tie-in with Facebook, which I never want to see again. Take a look at some of the comments made (all spelling, punctuation etc, intact) during the address.

Can you tell the Dems from the Pugs?
  • Wow, lots of colors in the ties in the audience.
  • why's he wearing a red tie? he's a democrat! RETARD!
  • Liberals will be able to sleep tonite. They're getting lots of exercise standing and clapping for the lies
  • did he say the "white" thing to do?
  • Trade school is not a real education.
  • Are those salt & pepper shakers in front of Nancy?
  • Susan Herron looks like a hooker
  • No more fat kidsss
  • legalize marajuana
  • maureen, you're hott!
  • dont ask don't tell needs to stay right where it is.
  • put gays on the front lines without weapons
  • Military said Hell naw!!!!
Lourdes, save us.

Bye, Bye Betty

ABC has cancelled Ugly Betty. The last show will air in April.

¡Oh, Dios mío! ¿Cómo es posible!?

Leak It Or Not

Drip, drip, drip...

Somebody better get someone in to plug up the leak.


(snagged from J@V@JuNKiE )

"I Am Directly Below...Enemy Scrotum"

This is hysterical. Some of these "cheesiest" lines are some of my favourites! I think I'm going to have to bring back the FML's (favourite movie lines).

There is one segue that's in poor taste...Patrick Swazye followed by Arnold from Kindergarten Cop saying, "It's not a tumour!"

Otherwise, do enjoy the almost ten minutes of classic movie moments!

This Shit Is B-R-E-N-D-A-N

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

...And The Next Time You Want Pussy...

A Boy And His T-Shirt

The Lisp Review ~ Usher, Ke$ha, And A Jonas

Usher ~ Raymond v. Raymond
Release Date: ????

Poor guy. Tracks from Raymond v. Raymond are leaking all over the place and sadly, only some of them come close to the R&B brilliance of 2004's Confessions. It seems to be a continuation of 2008's lukewarm-ness known as Here I Stand.

Two singles have already been released; Daddy's Home and Papers, the latter obviously is about his own divorce: "I'm ready to sign them papers, papers, papers /I done took all I can take but u leave me no options girl." Papers is the first track (at least on my copy it is) and it's a good start. It's a little generic, but for someone looking for some ka-pow!, I'll take it. Papers leads to Cruisin' which is reminiscent of Off-The-Wall-MJ with it's soulful disco sound.

It doesn't take long before that generic feeling comes back. The ballads sound like typical R&B slow jams (At The Time, Secret Garden), up tempo numbers like that Ne-yo's R&B-tronic sound (Radar, Rock Band). All is not lost, though. T.I. helps out on the kinda fun In My Bag. The funk tinged She's Got It and the dirty, bass heavy Little Freak probably won't be singles unless Usher re-records them for radio.

All in all, if you're a die-hard fan, you'll need this and you'll probably love it. As an occasional fan, I'd probably sing along with the radio, but that's about it. However, all the delays could be about polishing up this record for release.

Or maybe it's a community property thing.

Ke$ha ~ Animal
Release Date: January 5, 2010

Remember how I used to go on about how GaGa's Fame Stopwatch was ticking away? Remember how I said, "Someone should let Lady Gaga know that her Bad Romance might be related to it being a bad song. Unless I can find a decent remix of it, you won't be seeing it on a burn list...", and then I saw the video and I couldn't get that lyric out of my head and it showed up on a burn list?

Yeah, I'm going to take all that back and give it to Ke$ha. Yes, yes, I know all about her #1 status and the broken records and blah, blah, blah. This all sounds the same to me. It's true. I will admit that the first single, TiK ToK, has grown a tiny bit on me, but it's more of novelty. Like Sir Mix-a-lot's Baby Got don't actually think it merits any special accolades, but damn if it isn't fun to watch everyone freak out to it.

The next single is appropriately, Blah Blah Blah which features 3OH!3. Fortunately, it comes four songs after TiK ToK, otherwise I wouldn't have realized it was a different song. It will do well. Again, only because it's pure pop fluff. If TiK ToK is about getting psyched up for the party, then Blah Blah Blah is about what comes next: "I don't really care where you live at /Just turn around boy and let me hit that /Don't be a little bitch with your chit chat /Just show me where your dick's at." I know, right. The 'mo's are gonna love it.

The impression I get is that Ke$ha rolled into the studio, having drunk that bottle of Jack, and hit the mic. She sounds loaded, fully ripped and tanked six ways from Sunday. The only song that sounds remotely "crafted" to me, ironically, is Hungover: "Now the party's over and everybody's gone /I'm left here with myself and i wonder what went wrong."

That's gonna be one nasty hangover. For all of us.

Nick Jonas & The Administration ~ Who I Am
Release Date: February 2, 2010

Don't do it. Don't get it for someone's birthday, even if she's 13 and it could kill your status as her favourite auntie. It will ruin her.

And even if you're a closet fan of the Jonas Brothers (never admit it to me if you are), you will remain changed forever after you hear the puberty assaulted vocals of the youngest J-Bro.

Nick "I'm-The-Cute-One-But-Wait-Until-I'm-Legal-You-Chicken-Hawks" Jonas' solo project is coming out next week, and it should really just stay in hiding. This poor boy is just so much better in a group: you can't hear him. I'm assuming, of course, since I don't actually pay any attention to the Brothers Jonas. All I know is this: one is cute, one is ugly, and one is a girl.

There's a reason Menudo lasted for 43 years.

Tuesday's Child...

Monday, January 25, 2010

Glee As In Happy, Or Glee As In...


Mr. Schue! What are you doing!?

I know Matthew Morrison has said that he is straight, and that he embraces the gay community, but this is not really what I thought he meant by "embrace." For those of you who don't recognize that wall behind him, it's from a gay bar in NYC's East Village called Eastern Bloc.

I must remember that the next time NYC beckons.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

I Couldn't Have Said It Better Myself

I neglected to do my traditional wrap-up of the Golden Globes last week.
Then, when I did think of it, I thought it was just too late.

Then I stumbled upon this at But You're Like Really Pretty and it pretty much
sums up what I was thinking.

Calling All Bloggers...

Why is it that I see this: place of Chinese/Japanese/Hindu etc characters?
Am I missing an "app" on the 'puter?


Tomorrow's Monday...

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Friday, January 22, 2010

Filthy Beast!

You know how you're clicking along the Interwebs and you stumble across something so cool that you just know you have to share it with everyone?

This is one of those times. Actually, I kind of wanted to keep it a big fat secret, but I figure that it's just a matter of time before it's all over the place.

I'm talking about a new online 'zine called Guarro. They've just launched their first issue and it's all inspired by Lady GaGa.

Guarro is so many of my favourite things all wrapped up in one place! Sexy guys, amazing photography, inspired creativity and of course, The GaGa.

Jay Matthews from Austrailia, has blended his GaGa inspiration with one of his favourite things: faggots!
The white blonde hair and those weird geometric shapes that were all over early GaGa outfits meet ... well, you can see what they meet.

You've simply got to visit Jay's site. His images are quite amazing. Not to mention, he is HA-ZAAA hot. Another one I wanted to keep secret, but it won't be long before everyone is pilfering his blog for amazing pictures. He does sell them, you know!

In Javier Felices photos, gorgeous Spanish models pose with that hair bow thing (see above) and black nylons...and that's it. It's another nod to early GaGa when she first started showing up without her pants. Love it.

Along with Javier and Jay, there are contributions from Drasko Bogdanovic, Exterface
Justino Esteves and many others. Enjoy!

Model Thoughts

It's been awhile since the last "Model Thoughts" but it's not my fault...

...none of them had any.


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