Sunday, January 30, 2011
Now lemme see if I’ve got this right — Bristol, who barely got her GED and is NOT enrolled in any college, and who is also the proud mother of a little baby that she calved as an unwed teen — is being paid real money to talk about education and why its good to not fuck the first guy who waves a cock in your face. Two things that the evidence would indicate that she doesn’t even have a casual familiarity with.
I want a job like that!
~ Scott, from Bill In Exile, on Bristol Palin's upcoming speech at Washington University on abstinence at college.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
I get Kylie. And the Chemical Brothers. And the first single from the the first CD after she exploded all up in the hizzy with Fever. She slapped us gently with Slow from Body Language, which I always liked because it was so sexy!
But this Genius --whoever she is-- pulled the Chemical Brothers remix of Slow from Boombox.
I thought to myself, "Self, I don't think I've ever heard this!" Sure enough, I was right. When I checked, there were no "Play" counts!
This little fact doesn't surprise me in the least. I am a Digital Hoarder. I have downloaded music that I've yet to listen to...case in point...Kylie and the Chemical Brothers.
So, in light of this enlightenment(?), I thought I'd share.
Go on then...look in the comments...
Ever since Pete Wentz flashed his baby-maker, I've been ever so smitten with this once-brilliant, now fading hipster.
That's right...I fell for one of the previous decade's most profitable social marketing stunts; the privates flash. Sure, it was usually Paris or Lindsay in an unfortunate and sloppy up-skirt moment, but the boys had to be really creative. The stunt involves a celebrity who has a cell phone with a camera, a penis, and the internet; it's a stunt that made Fall Out Boy a hipster-household name.
I can imagine that the pressures of a baby and a Simpson sister for a wife (not to mention that Papa Joe character) has caught up with this raven-haired tempter.
Pete recently showed up who-the-fuck-cares-where-? clearly having forgotten his flat iron.
Gone. Oh, he's gone. Calling all "Dad-Jeans!"
I don't see that tattooed scenester I once imagined ravaging; probably short enough to stick him on, and spin him 'round and 'round. I see a tired, suburban house-husband with a Jew-fro.
No, not even a Jew-fro. I would do someone with a Jew-fro as long as it was Seth Rogen -- during Green Hornet filming, after he lost all that sloppy weight, or someone like that Andy dude from SNL.
No, Pete looks tired, a little puffy and CLEARLY he's harvested the hair from his nether region and had it implanted up top. (Click the pic if you don't believe me!)
Nope. Never gonna happen. Next!!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
I almost never do this. I can only think of a small handful of moments when this happened.
I did it with Dragonette. I did it with Parov Stellar. Kelis got one and so did the Gorillaz. That's all I can recall right now... but I'm sure there are others.
It's been like winning a bingo jackpot and not sharing. It feels selfish and a-hole-ish. Anyway, all the information you need is in the comments.
Lourdes, you better enjoy!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
How did anyone think this would be a good idea?
Seacrest and Jackson sealed their fates long ago, and I'm sure that there are contracts in their respective safety deposit boxes written in goats blood.
Jennifer is completely irrelevant. She really is the new Paula. And just like Paula, she'll have a slight rise in her popularity but she'll never regain the fame she once had.
And Tyler...Lourdes. Earlier today, I joked with some co-workers that we were going to be treated to a lot of screeching n' shit. Totes came true.
I give Jennifer and Steven props for what they accomplished back in the day, but let's all agree to quit flogging this dead horse.
So, with that, I'll call it.
Time of death: 8:13pm
Why the odd nickname? Well, just in case you didn't know, that skull drawing on his face is real. Don't believe me? See for yourself.
Also, the music is a new GaGa track called Scheiße, which translates to "shit." Isn't that precious!